You know, most animals don’t menstruate the horribly painful and bloody way that humans do. Just throwing out that out there because I don’t think werewolves should either. I want monster movies where girls are lining up around the fucking block to become werewolves because no more periods ever. The “will you press the button?” would be like “You wake up covered in mysterious blood once a month BUT this time it’s from the blood of your enemies and also you have no cramps.” We would ALL PRESS THE BUTTON.
Okay but can we just—
Scott being hunted down by high school girls who are desperate for the bite.
Danny knows, everyone knows, Scott and Stiles are literally the worst at keeping secrets. It wouldn’t take much, just an inquiring mind and someone who remembers how Laura Hale never seemed to get the jokes girls tell each other about periods. How Ms. Talia almost never had pads or tampons in her house. How Erica stopped missing class for three days every month (the school wouldn’t let her take more) after she got her “makeover”.
Girls notice these things. Seriously, I’ve never spent much of any time with another ciswoman that didn’t involve some mention of menstruation eventually. Roughly once a month my twitter feed is a sea of “GDI WHO STARTED THE THING”. (Because apparently the internet is stronger than biology?IDK Science get on that.) It wouldn’t take much to connect the dots at all.
So here’s all these girls with A Problem. And there’s Scott, with his puppy dog smile and red eyes and bright shiny teeth that can solve that problem.
It wouldn’t be many at first. Most of them wouldn’t believe that it could be that good. I mean, really, werewolves are still people, right? But one girl would, the girl with really bad periods, the kind that lay you out for a week and that the doctors just tell you to grit your teeth and bear because they have no clue. She’d ask, because she’s at the end of her fucking rope and desperate times call for a species switch.
And Scott, well. You know Scott. He’d say no at first. He’d say no for a long time, probably, because being a werewolf ruined his life and he has Opinions seriously, Betty, the bite could kill you even before all the stuff that comes with being a werewolf does, periods can’t be that bad. (And because he’s a cisdude and I love him but cisdudes can be idiots about shit like this.) But Scott is only ever an idiot for a little while before he wises up. He’d start noticing. He has a nose, and Derek finally taught him how to use it. He’d smell things. Start watching when a girl is especially pale and tired, when girls are “out sick” or—worse—when they smell like pain and blood and rage but have to tough it out because bleeding from my vagina so hard its giving me a migraine isn’t an excused absence until it lands you in the emergency room.
Which is how he and Melissa (and Stiles because Stiles is of course in on everything Scott is) end up sitting down and having a heart to heart about periods and how for a lot of women they’re okay, but here’s some horror stories. And he talks to Derek and Peter, who are their only source of verifiable werewolf facts—even if they’re not lady wolves—and get confirmed that yes, female werewolves have a modified cycle, no they don’t cramp like human girls, no it’s not monthly, Scott why are you even asking about this, did witches give you an innie again?
And a week later, when Betty is at lunch curled around her uterus and viciously stabbing an apple to simulate her feelings for the male half of the species, Scott sort of edges up to her and awkwardly says, “So, do you still want the bite…?”
Betty’s just the first, though. When she comes into class with a bandage on her arm (“NO DEREK, I’m not biting them on the side, what the hell?!”) and a bright, sunny disposition, everyone knows. And most girls, okay, it’s not that bad. Not worth risking death over. But there’s always some, and now Scott is Grade A Prime Alpha Material.
They come in twos and threes and one gang of ten cheerleaders who were legitimately terrifying. Scott is besieged with girls on all sides, shoving him into lockers, yanking him into dark classrooms, “accidentally” packing two lunches and giving him one until Stiles and Kira stop bothering to pack their own and Scott always has a few left to give out to people who need them. The girls try bribing and arguing and seducing, and every time he gives in it gets harder to say no because look at how it helped all those other girls!
And that’s the story how Scott McCall, True Alpha, ended up with the largest, most female-dominated pack of werewolves in North America.
everybody seems to think ravenclaw is a quiet place to read but i quite disagree
i mean maybe the fact that it’s so light and airy is because they need to be able to open the windows when jack blows something up while experimenting with charms in the corner
and the prefects always have their hands full because fights regularly break out over the fact that ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc is not a legitimate argument, diana!’ and ‘i can’t believe you think dorabella’s star maps are more accurate than mine! what kind of friend are you?’
and then of course there’s the divide between the ravenclaws that revere the old schools of learning and the brash new-world-new-rules ravenclaws that say ‘fuck you!’ to all magical conventions. and man, those prank wars are dangerous (especially when professor flitwick not only fails to stop them, but decides to join in on the fun)
i mean come on it’s a house of knowledge seekers that probably love to argue and theorize and experiment and have a certain amount of pride in their intelligence. things never go smoothly when you’ve got approximately 80 people all trying to be the smartest person in the room
#that’s not to say they don’t admire and respect each other #or enjoy working together because all ravenclaws are different #and some really really love being right #and some delight in being proved wrong because changing your worldview is ever so EXCITING #there is a certain amount of ego involved in considering yourself a genius #and there’s a certain amount of disdain for genius that exists in those that ‘humbly’ #proclaim themselves truthseekers #and then there are those that proclaim that there IS NO TRUTH #i mean come on ravenclaw is a mess let’s all face it
#and then there are the Ravenclaws that go through existential crises every other week because of things they’re reading#WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE POTIONS HOMEWORK#I’M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER OTHER MEANS OF TORTURE ARE ACTUALLY MORE ETHICAL THAN THE CRUCIATUS#AND IF NOT THEN WHY ARE THEY LEGAL#or#I AM CALLING OFF QUIDDITCH PRACTICE TODAY BECAUSE I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHY QUIDDITCH IS DIVIDED BY HOUSES#or I CAN’T GO TO RUNES BECAUSE I AM TOO UPSET ABOUT WITCH HUNTS IN THE MIDDLE AGES#IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE JUST IMAGINE IT#or BUT WHY IS OUR CURRENCY SO ILLOGICAL CAN’T WE FIX IT#or HOW DOES MAGIC GET PASSED DOWN BUT THEN ALSO APPEAR AT RANDOM NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN IT#IS IT IN OUR BODIES OR IN OUR MINDS OR WHAT#(just calm down and come to transfiguration okay)#I WILL NOT CALM DOWN AND I WILL NOT COME TO TRANSFIGURATION#IF YOU VANISH A THING AND CONJURE IT AGAIN IS IT THE SAME MATTER#IS IT THE SAME ESSENCE#(it’s okay. just vanish the pincushion)#IT’S NOT OKAY
Do you ever get to a part of the book where you get so angry with the main character because he just did something you specifically asked him not to do and now you’re going to have to sit there and watch as he tries to deal with all of the problems that his mistake brought about when, if he had just listened to you in the first place, it would have all been fine?